"Pressing on" - 2 more quotes I use often

For those of you that have been reading this blog you may have figured out that I often look to motivational writings during my darker times. Little passages that help me to feel so not alone and to help me press on with life. Well, here is another quote that I sometimes refer to in life. It is from a book by Robert Greene about conquering the social games of everyday life.

He says..."Every day you face battles - that is the reality for all creatures in their struggle to survive. But the greatest battle of all is with yourself - your weaknesses, your emotions, your lack of resolution in seeing things through to the end. You must declare unceasing war on yourself. As a warrior in life, you welcome combat and conflict as ways to prove yourself, to better your skills, to gain courage, confidence, and experience. Instead of repressing your doubts and fears, you must face them down, do battle with them. You want more challenges and you invite more war. You are forging the warrior's spirit, and only constant practice will lead you there." -RG

At times when I want to give up or give in, which is where I find my self today, wanting to give in, this helps me realize that a lot of people struggle with similar problems in everyday life. Granted "we" (those of us who struggle with bipolar and similar issues), and those like us, are in a completely different dimension. Our struggles are multiplied to the nth degree compared to the average individual. But one thing I have realized of late is that there is a "we", and not just an "I". And "we" have our own brand of struggles that we face every day.

This is one such passage that helps me to want to fight just a little harder. To press on just a little further and try to make this day a better day.

And to end this post is probably my most favorite of all quotes.

"TODAY IS VICTORY OVER YOURSELF OF YESTERDAY; tomorrow is your victory over lesser men.” -Miyamoto Musashi

(thanks to Ghost Girl for the theme of this post.)

What a crazy weekend it has been. I woke up saturday morning after about 8 hours of decent sleep and was feeling ok. Then around noon I dropped like a rock and slept for about 6 more hours. Of course after that I could not go to sleep until about 5 this morning. Then I wake up at 9 with only 4 hours sleep and I am completely wired. I mean high speed, low drag, go, go, go. So crazy. Now I am doing some housework which is cool since I have been so out of it for the last month I have barely done a thing.

I think it is safe to say, dear readers, that I am officially on a good sized upswing. Hopefully I will not get too manic this time, but when does what I want and what happens ever truly coincide? Just about never. Soooo, I really have nothing else to say but with my wife out of the house and no one to talk to I feel like I need to have some type of output. So I continue to type....

Here is another little motivational piece that I enjoy. It is not a direct quote but it is close.

"Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way round or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves. Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot it becomes the teapot. Be water my friend." -Bruce Lee

Not bad, huh. If you think about it there is a lot of wisdom in those words. So here I will leave you with these parting words.

Be water my friends.

Remember the toothache!

I was reading some more on Buddhism today and I came across a passage that has given me some thought. The author talks about not just suffering and identifying with your suffering but he also speaks of remembering your suffering. He says that when we have a toothache we think of how good it feels to not have a toothache. But once the toothache is gone we no longer think of how much better it now is to not have the ache. We simply put it behind us and forget about the pain.

So I was dwelling on this when I started to think about where I am now compared to where I have been in the past. I remember what it was like when I was suicidal, when the darkest of days were looming in front of me. When I felt like all had abandoned me and I deserved nothing, not even the air I breathe. I thought of all the difficult times I have faced in the past and those that I face now. Without a doubt, as bad as things can be now, they are better than they once were. In fact anything short of being suicidal again, which hasn't happened in over 3 months now, is better. So I have spent the morning contemplating and comparing myself now to when things were the worst, such as the day I tried to kill myself. It helps me. I feel a bit more empowered to take control of my life. I have been at the edge and I have stepped off. I have revisited the edge several times and probably will again. But right now I am not there and understanding that "lack" of suffering is putting me in a better place. I can feel how much stronger I am now. I am not deluding myself into thinking that this feeling will last forever but right now it is there and it is mine. I plan to enjoy this for as long as I can. Until my demons recognize it and pull it away from me, it is mine.

The image at the top of the page I chose for a reason. It is an icon of my life, of where I see myself right now. The passage is dark and dirty, there is no feeling of warmth or comfort. But where there was nothing I now see a light at the end. How far I have to go to reach that I do not know. I may only attain it on the day that I pass from here to the next or it may come to me next week. But I have been diagnosed, finally, and I am on medication. I have someone in my life I can talk to about most things and a blog for what I cannot say. Either way it is not bottled inside of me. And that is better than where I once was.

Something for everyone to remember!

"Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice in the back of your head that says I will try tomorrow." -unknown

To all that may read this blog and share in my trials and tribulations. To all with bipolar or adhd or bpd or past abuse or any other of the conflicts you face on a daily basis. This is for you. My admiration and devotion is yours as we all choose to press on through the fire.

To those no longer with us. I am sorry for what you had to face. I hope peace is finally yours.

A few words for the heart and soul

A couple quotes that have always helped me and may be of some comfort to others...

"The ocean of suffering is immense, but if you turn around, you can see the land."

"The seed of suffering in you may be strong, but do not wait until you have no more suffering before allowing yourself to be happy."

"When one tree in the garden is sick, you have to care for it. But do not overlook all the healthy trees."

"Even while you have pain in your heart, you can enjoy the many wonders of life - the beautiful sunset, the smile of a child, the many flowers and trees. To suffer is not enough. Please do not be imprisoned by your suffering."

-Thich Nhat Hanh, Buddhist monk

For anyone who has not read this man's work I highly recommend it. A zen master, poet, teacher, mystic, scholar and activist. His words can be very soothing to the soul. He had once been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.