Monday, September 7, 2009

I am lacking so much energy it really isn't funny anymore. I am not a lazy person by nature, I love working hard and getting things done. My favorite feeling is crashing after a long day's work, that feeling of having accomplished something. But for a long while now I have had no energy. I get worn out after a half hour of doing dishes. I just want to sit in a dark room and read a book or watch a movie. Lately I have been having a real hard time focusing on a book for more than a minute. I think maybe I need to really talk to my doc about changing or upping some of my meds. I dread going through it but this is just not acceptable. I can see it affecting my wife also. As much as she tries to be there for me it is no fair for her to do the brunt of everything around here. It is coming down to a quality of life issue. For both of us.

So I have an appointment with my doc soon. I only see her every 3 weeks or so. I have not gone to see her or anyone else on a regular basis to discuss things since I could never find someone I trust enough to open up. She only helps me with my meds. Too many demons are wanting out and I am scared to truly unload them, even on my wife. I think slowly but surely I may be able to accomplish that on here which is why I hope this can serve as my therapy. My blog is always here, never on vacation, and I can freely say what I want. The few readers I have are always supportive and are kindred spirits enough where I know that at least one or two of them will always understand at least part of where I am coming from.


  1. I like to sit in the dark. Sometimes less physical stimulus helps keep my brain waves a little smoother.

    I struggle with energy. My best energy mixture was Effexor and Abilify, though it totally numbed me out so that's why I'm trying the anticonvulsant route for a mood stabilizer.

  2. I can sooo relate to the lack of energy thing. I seem to be able to get my duties done at work but at home I'm toast. And like you I find it difficult to read at times. My lack of zest seemed to have started when I was put on Risperdal. I'm hoping as I keep lowering it I'll start to feel better.

  3. It took me awhile to find the right med combo. My new p-doc has gotten it right.

    I take Trileptal, Seroquel and Vyvanse. I'm doing pretty good now. I have been through some horrid med combinations so I understand.

    I like sitting in the dark too. Just being alone is enough for me. My husband does the most around the house and for our son. I do what I can but my issues get in the way. I feel guilty too.


I crave feedback. Please let me know what you think and feel.