Saturday, September 19, 2009

Swinging more than Tarzan

Well it has been a few days since my last post. I have been very much busy trying to deal with life and my mental imbalances. I have been mood swinging a lot lately. A lot! Five or seven times a day minimal. But things are calming down mentally now and life is getting easier for it. Nothing much has changed in my life. I have been putting on a rosier face for the wifey and her mood has definitely lightened. She is much happier now thinking I am doing well (see last post). Truth is things really could be worse. In my swings I have been getting very manic and have been finishing things around the house like a madman (no pun intended). Then the downswing and I crash hard. At these times I have been just sitting at the computer surfing around aimlessly. It is very mind numbing and helps pass the hour or so until I switch again. Then I am off. If anyone was watching me closely they would probably mistake me for a meth fiend. Nights have been rough but what are you gonna do?

4 comments:

  1. I'm sorry you're going through this. I've been seriously suffering due to my OCD so I know how hard it is to get stable. I've been putting on a face for my husband too.

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  2. I often sit around surfing the web endlessly. What would we do without that crutch? Ha!

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  3. I feel for ya. I've been cycling like mad myself and it's no fun. Well, the manic bit is kinda fun, but the crashing sucks. It's hard to put on a happy, brave face when you're getting kicked in the teeth by your moods every couple of hours. The ups and downs are exhausting, to say the least. Hang in there. You said things were calming down some mentally, and I hope things continue to settle down for you.

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  4. Chinaski-
    I know what you are going through. Be strong. It really is hard when you are cycling that many times a day. I tend to surf aimlessly as well. I have all these things to do, but meth fiend is a perfect analogy. I do hope you are feeling better soon. Keep swimming, eventually you'll get to shore (this was said to me in therapy). I keep reminding myself the same.

    I really like your template. It's beautiful. And somehow accurate.

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